IVF #1 CD 1 "Finally!"

Well, the day has FINALLY arrived! This is the first time in well over 2 years that I was HAPPY (elated actually!!!) for the arrival of AF. Sorry about my last few rant posts....I am just so annoyed by all of the waiting. When you get up to CD38 of your cycle.....you can understand why I'd be so frustrated. I'm SICK of waiting to start this cycle! I started spotting yesterday afternoon (CD 37,) and finally got a "flow" today. I canceled the ultrasound and blood testing since they were no longer needed.

I want to say that I never thought this day would arrive, but I knew it would..... eventually….it just took a very very long time! I called my nurse this morning to get my CD2 appointments set up for tomorrow. So, I’ll go in for my baseline U/S and B/W tomorrow. If everything looks “favorable” (as they call it) I will start my stimulation injections (menopur and follistim) on Sunday. So, I'll be doing a total of 3 injections (including the continuation of the lupron.) I am ecstatic to FINALLY be at this point!!

It’s difficult to say how I am feeling right now. I am excited and hopeful about the prospect of having a baby in my arms by the end of the year. But, terrified that this may not work. I find a little peace in knowing that we have 3 “fresh” tries and 3 “frozen” tries. So, even if it takes a cycle (or 2) to figure out how my body responds to the meds, that is fine…..we can tweak that and then hopefully get a better response with the next fresh cycle.

Even if we do conceive on our first try, I will still know that I made the right decision with going with the shared risk/6 try program. DH and I both know it is possible to conceive on the first try and then we would have lost a lot of $, but at this point that really doesn’t matter...we just want this to be over. If we conceive right away, I think we’ll just be so happy that it actually worked that we won’t care how much it cost us to get here. We’ve just heard of too many people taking more than one cycle for IVF to work, that we are comfortable in the decision we made to go with the one flat fee.

More than anything, I just feel blessed that we actually have the $ to spend on IVF. I feel terrible for the couples who haven’t been able to conceive on their own, but do not have the $ to pay for IVF. DH and I try to count our blessings each day, at least God blessed us with good jobs, stable incomes and $ in our savings account. I do try to remember that each and every day….the blessings.

I believe in my heart that everything in life happens for a reason, and even though I may not see that reason now…there is always one. Perhaps when we started trying 2+ years ago I wasn’t ready to be a mommy, perhaps there was more God wanted me to see and do and understand before I became a mommy, perhaps he wanted me to fight for what I wanted so that I could appreciate it even that much more, perhaps I needed to let go of some of my selfish ways, perhaps he wanted DH and I to grow even closer together through this process to become an even stronger unit to become the best parents possible, perhaps I still had growth to do and things to realize over the past 2+ years. I believe each and every one of these things to be true, even if it has been the most difficult, heartbreaking journey over the past 2+ years. I’ve learned that I am stronger than I ever believed and that I can get through even the most difficult things. I’ve also learned that DH and I can get through the toughest times and that neither one of us are going anywhere.....

Now, I'm off to get my much needed massage!