I know many of you are dealing with the opposite problem, and I promise that I am not trying to minimize your struggles in the least bit. I have the opposite problem…I want to GAIN weight! Now, before you go blasting me…..trust me, it is just as difficult for me to put weight on as it is for a lot of people to take weight off. When I was younger, I would get my feelings hurt so bad when people would constantly make comments “you are soooo skinny.” I would come home crying because my feelings would be so extremely hurt. In elementary school, I boy who I had a desperate crush on told me to “put on a sweater because my arms were too skinny not be covered.” I finally talked to a counselor about it when I was in high school….. FINALLY someone understood where I was coming from. She told me that to me when someone says “you are so skinny!” it is the same as someone telling an overweight person “you are so fat!” In affects me in the same way. It hurts my feelings and makes me feel different.
As I got older, I learned better how to deal with the constant comments about my weight….of course there are still times when it bothers me. One time I walked into one of the “big bosses” offices to drop something off…she had a bunch of people in the room that she was meeting with, as I was walking out the door, she said really loudly “OMG…you are so skinny!” Those times still get to me…but I’ve learned now that people probably aren’t trying to hurt my feelings, most of the time they think it is a compliment (?) As I’ve gotten older I’ve tried to learn to be thankful for my fast metabolism and the fact that I don’t have to count calories. I’ve learned to smile and thank people when they make comments about my weight or how petite I am (it happens almost every day, so I figure it is best to just roll with the punches.)
I’ve weighed the same thing (104-105 pounds) since high school. There have been many times over the years that I’ve tried to put weight on…..but I end up giving up because nothing ever changes! I just hover right around 104-105 pounds. My driver’s license says I weigh 110 pounds because I am so embarrassed that I am 5’4” and only a measly 105 pounds (on a good day.) In actuality, the only time I’ve ever broken the 110 mark was last month (OHSS) when I put on 8 pounds of water weight and got up to a whopping 112 pounds!
Once I found out that I had 6 weeks before my transfer, I decided to try and put on some weight (I'd like to be at 110 at transfer.) I AM healthy….105 is my normal body weight, I exercise (not too much,) I eat healthy and well, but I want the baby to have some nice fat to snuggle into. My fertility doctors have never said anything about my weight, but I’ve heard that low weight can affect implantation. So…for the past two weeks….I’ve been eating like crazy! For breakfast, a protein shake, a banana, greek yogurt with flaxseed and granola. For lunch, a sandwich with lots of meat and cheese, or a frozen meal, or an all-natural noodle bowl, always with a salad (because it keeps me regular and greens are so good for you!) Yesterday I went out for lunch and got a breakfast for lunch…..bacon, 2 eggs, hash browns, 2 pieces of toast. For snacks I’ve been eating boat loads of my husband’s homemade beef jerky, girl scout cookies (I ate a whole box in 2 days,) strawberries, applesauce, cottage cheese, fruit leather, cheese and crackers, chips, nuts, etc. For dinners I’ve basically been eating whatever….I ate an entire half of a large pizza by myself this past weekend, lots of stir-frys with white rice, veggies and chicken, pastas, breads, tacos…okay you get the point! I’ve been eating A LOT! I don’t know my calorie intake but it MUST be over what my body needs!
So, I get on the scale this morning……102 pounds….. W….T…..F???!!!! What’s a girl gotta do here?!?!? I’ve LOST weight! It just crushed me….all of this effort for nothing!?
Anyway, I hope I haven’t hurt anyone’s feelings or alienated anyone with this post. I am just so frustrated, and needed to get it out. I am also posting to document this part of my journey.
If anyone has advice I’d be glad to hear it. Am I worrying for nothing? I've got so much anxiety over this, I just want to be the best physical place possible when we do the transfer. I tried to Google “ways to gain weight” but they weren’t very helpful. I need something realistic here, I’m not interested in eating a bunch of cheeseburgers and fast food and then putting myself at risk for other ailments.
I've got about 4 weeks to gain 8 pounds...is this possible?
15 comments:
We all have our own struggles and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this! I wish I had some advice or something helpful to add, but I'm really not sure; it sounds like you're doing what you can.
On an unrelated note, I read through some of your previous entries and I can't believe the nerve of those anonymous commenters and what they said to you! You're completely right and free to post whatever you want on your own blog.
Best of luck with your FET!
Dude, I wish we could hang out because I'm sure I could help you gain that! I know I've done it for others... and myself ;)
I'll just cut part of my tummy or butt off and mail it your way. You'll gain the 10lbs no problems. lol I'm sure since you've gotten to the IVF point they've tested everything but i'm still gonna ask. Have they checked your thyroid?
They've checked everything dag nabbit...no one seems to think this is an issue except for ME! Docs say I'm healthy so not to worry about it. Do you think I have a parasite!?!?! OMG! Aaaaaa!! Ugh!!! Crap! Nooooo!!!! Okay, forget it...this is all making me crazy!
Krista, I really wouldn't worry about your weight. It sounds like you have healthy habits, so if you've always been little, then that's just how your body wants to be. I was in the same boat before going through IVF. I thought maybe I should try to put on some weight to support a healthy pregnancy (I've been 5'7" and 110# since high school). But the RE wasn't concerned (although it was part of the reason he urged me to transfer just one), and my OB actually told me that he didn't want me to gain any more weight than a typical pregnant woman. I gained 28 pounds while pregnant (until I got food poisoning and lost 5 pounds a week before my due date) and had a super healthy, easy pregnancy. You don't need to have a padded body to support a growing baby, just a nicely padded uterus! Don't make yourself crazy with this! There are plenty of other things you'll find ways of worrying about, so try to let this one go. :)
I look forward to reading about your upcoming FET! Any new thoughts on how many you want to transfer? I can't imagine having so much time to mull that decision over. In some ways it was probably a lot easier to have to decide the on the spot. Not enough time to second guess a million times. Good luck!
It sound like your body just wants to be a certain weight no matter what you do. I'm like that, too - always the same whether I sit around watching TV and eating brownies or if I'm vigilant about diet and exercise. You'll pack on some pounds once you get pregnant, so don't worry - you may be just weeks away from plumping up! Until then eat like crazy just for the FUN of it. And you're loading up on all kinds of vitamins and minerals even if you're not getting fatter.
hahha! i can TOTALLY relate. i've gotten all of those same comments. When i hit 29 it all started to change and for the first time in my life i was considered really curvy at a whopping 126. Unfortunately the starvation of OHSS put me back at 117 and i again am looking REALLY skinny. lol. But oh well.
You're babies don't need any fat to snuggle in. LOL. They will be happy with a warm womb and you singing to them...even if it's off key.
Thanks for all of your guys' nice comments. I know so many are struggling with the opposite problem, so I feel bad even bring this up. But, it's been on my mind a lot lately, so I just had to get it out! I'm going to try and take your guys' advice and not worry about it (better said than done, but I'm going to try!) I just want to be as ready for this transfer as possible!
Do you do any weight lifting type of exercise? Muscle weighs a lot more than fat and if you tried to put on some muscle weight, that could help you to feel better. Resistance and strength training helps to gain muscle mass, but it generally takes 6-8 weeks (this was the input from my hubby who is a physical therapist.) He also said to try to do less aerobic training and more resistance type of stuff.
It sounds like your body is where it wants to be and you can't change that. It your FET isn't successful (even though it WILL be), you may want to ask more about gaining more weight. You may be surprised to find out your body is in perfect shape to get pregnant. Good luck and I can't wait to hear about it, it is SO soon!
I feel for you as I had the same issue all through college. Thankfully, these days, while I'm still petite (and have bony wrists), my weight tends to be at a level I'm happier with.
You didn't mention it, but one of the things I did particularly when trying to conceive was eat and drink full-fat dairy--I read one mention somewhere that it could assist fertility so that was the main reason, but I was also keen to keep myself up to my ideal body weight (going by an internet BMI).
You also might want to check out advice for pregnant women on gaining weight, since I know that this can be an issue in multiple pregnancies?
But overall, I'd agree that it's best not to focus too hard on it. After all, you have enough things to worry about without adding to it. As long as you know you're living a healthy lifestyle, that little number on the scales doesn't mean too much.
I know how you feel about being the skinny girl! I was so self conscious about it when I was in middle school that I would wear 3 or 4 shirts trying to look heavier! I have a couple suggestions for healthy ways to add a little more fat. Guacamole- I mean who doesn't like that? And peanut butter. I personally love mine on graham crackers with a few miniature chocolate chips sprinkled on top:)
I've got 10 to lose in the next four weeks....you've got 8 to gain...
Let's just call it even!
Here's my solution: Eat a lot of chocolate for comfort and maybe that will help. That's what worked for me (and if it doesn't for you then I might not want our twins to be friends!)
I think that if 105 is your weight no matter what then that is where you shoud be for IVF. I think eating and being healthy is more important than what you weigh (within reason!)
Visiting from ICLW.
I just wanted to say you are not alone in your quest to GAIN weight...I, too, was told to gain at least 5 pounds in order to be at an ideal weight for TTC. I have been able to gain the weight but my problem is that I can't keep it on...I'll gain 5 pounds one week and lose it the next week! Good Luck!
Hope all goes well with your transfer and you get your BFP!
Thanks for all of the great suggestions! I've been really concentrating on what I am eating...a protein shake with my breakfast, and then good fats (like avacados, olives, full fat dairy, etc.) I am actually up to 105 pounds now....so I've gained 3 pounds since this post, which I am thrilled about! I'd like to get up to 109/110 by transfer. I don't know if that is possible, but that is what I am aiming for. I know being healthy is the most important thing, but just putting on a few more pounds will make me feel better, like I did everything I could in my power to make my FET a success!!
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