Since the call from the nurse this morning, I just continue to kick myself. I let myself get too excited. I should have known better. How dare I think I was getting pregnant this cycle?! It was all too good to be true. I should have known something would go wrong. I should have known there would be more set-backs. After all we’ve been through, after all the set-backs, I should have known better then to get excited. Damn. I won’t do that again. This is not what I needed on the first day of my cycle, when I already feel shitty from AF. I really needed the good news, and never did I think that the call wouldn't be good news.
My nurse called back this afternoon and said that Dr. B approved me taking birth control this month to give me a normal length cycle (you know, a cycle like everyone else in the world!) I am thankful for that, but am feeling so defeated right now that it is difficult to be happy about that. It shortens up the wait some, but not short enough to where I was thinking it would be. It pisses me off that I will have yet another AF visit before we can have our transfer. If everything goes off without a hitch (yeah right,) she said our transfer is scheduled on April 21st. Here is the new schedule:
March 17th - Start Birth Control
March 25th - FET Nurse Consult
March 29th - Start Lupron
April 3rd - Cycle day 1 of FET
- Start all FET Meds
April 21st - Transfer scheduled
I guess I am happy that we have an ACTUAL schedule that we can look forward to instead of all this waiting for this to happen, then wait for that to happen...it's all getting old. Of course, I've been through this enough to know that this could all change when the wind blows a slightly different direction, so I'm not writing it down in pen on my calendar! But, at least we have a date to write down (in pencil) on our calendar.
I guess I am just tired...tired of the ups and downs, tired of waiting, tired of getting excited only to be crushed, tired of crying, tired of being disappointed, tired of my husband's disappointment, tired of wearing my heart on my sleeve.
I'm feeling poopy...maybe tomorrow will be a better day.....
12 comments:
I just found your blog from cyclesista.
I'm so sorry that you've had to go through so much. Since we see the same doctor, I can vouch for some of the lack of communication at that office--I love them otherwise, but sometimes I wish they would tell me things up front instead of my having to draw it out of them.
Wishing you lots of luck as you prep for your FET!
Oh honey I just read your post before and my heart sank-and once again I know exactly how you feel as I misunderstood what our clinic had said and thought we only had to wait the same amount of time as you-and then we found out it was a whole other cycle on top of that!They don't explain it very well and it's devastating to find out you have to wait that extra month, a few people said to me 'oh well whats another month on top of it all' well actually it's HUGE when you have already waited so long!
I'm so sorry love, huge hugs to you. It does help if you can find yourself a 'mission' for the next month, a small goal to work towards while you're waiting, for me it was regular gym sessions, but anything, a blanket to crochet,or schedule a weekend getaway for a few weeks time just to have something to while away the time and hopefully make the weeks go a bit faster.
It still sucks though and I feel for you hon. Huge hugs xoxo
Best of luck on this FET! Glad you have your schedule!
Doesn't it suck that all bad news seems to come on CD1 when we're already feeling crappy. Sorry you have to wait a few more weeks. Hopefully the time will go by quickly.
It really sucks that they didn't explain things better. I can't imagine the disappointment you felt. Yuck. On the bright side, I personally think April 21 will be a lucky day for getting pregnant. That's my son's 1st birthday! I hope the next month flies by for you. Hang in there!
yay, you have a schedule!!! I know it's hard but you CAN do this. You are STRONGER than you know!!
This means that (if everything goes right for me) you and I will have our transfers right around the same time. Let's shoot for 2 BFP's!
I really feel for you too... there is so much waiting already that every extra week feels like an eternity :( Good to be able to go on the pill and have a schedule to work towards... I need every little bit of structure they'll give me to help with my anxiety ! Thinking of you and wishing for you all the way to the BFP xoxo
I cried.
Hard.
You're doctor isn't the only one who didn't explain it very well. I learned more from your post then I have with my own nurse discussions. Now it clicked as to why they said May...and I said "no way in hell will it take me until May to get a visit by AF". It all makes sense now.
Which makes me even more angry at my body. I'm totally pissed at OHSS now. I knew it was devestating but I felt so crappy I didn't care in January - now I do. I really do.
Sorry you were not warned of this. How does that give you faith in their effectiveness? Idiots! Obviously never suffered IF and used birth control as a means of preventing a pregnancy. Those were the days. Must be frustrating to know that you have baby frosties and can't get to them till 21st April. Hugsssssss
I am so glad they followed up so quickly.
Yes a date helps, but it isn't what you were hoping for.
Just remember when you get pregnant, I bet none of this will matter to you!!!
I don't know why i didnt see these posts yesterday...but I really am very sorry. I know some people wont get it and they'll be thinking "what's a few more wekks..." but they have no idea. I really truly sincerely hope that you can look back and say that this was all for the best because we got our baby!!
We will definitely be in the 2ww together now since my transfer is third week in April as well. I really hope you feel better soon and recover from the nurse pulling the rug out from under you. They really really really should have explained better for you.
That blows, I'm sorry you have to wait. I am glad you got a schedule, hopefully that will help. And I hope that your FET will be a successful one.
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