I wanted to let you all know that I caved and took a pregnancy test this morning....my clear answer is that I am not pregnant. I am 10 days out from my transfer (which is technically 15 days out from ovulation in a "normal" cycle for those reading this that may not know,) so the results are accurate.
I know many of you will say that there is still hope and that I should wait for my beta, and while I love how optimistic this community is (I'd probably say the same thing to someone in my shoes,) I already know what the beta is going to be. I have already begun the mourning process......
DH and I plan to mourn and then pick up the pieces and move forward with another FET in June. While we are happy that we still have 5 embryos....we are terribly devastated that our first transfer did not take. I've never been so sad in my entire life. There is no way you can prepare yourself for this type of hurt. I am still trying to have hope in my heart that one of these 5 embryos will be our "golden egg." What else do I have but that?.
53 comments:
Oh, Krista, NO!! I was so hoping that it would work for you after everything you've been through with this cycle. I have an unrealistic lingering hope for my beta on Monday and I hope that your HPT was defected. It's hard to deal with a BFN when the embryos were so good.
I am keeping you in my thoughts and if this will be confirmed as a BFN, I wish you a BFP in June.
I am so sorry sweet girl! Having just been through this and knowing how hard it is I won't give you false hope, I will let you go ahead and grieve. But I was really hoping (and honestly praying) that this would be your month!
I too take comfort in the fact that we have 5 frozen ones waiting for us. Hopefully we will both have a "take home baby" from the upcoming FET.
I am so sorry. I was really hoping this would work for you.
The pain and sadness is so hard I know. Take the time you need to grieve and then look forward to June and keep up the hope.
x
Oh Krista...I know there are no words to take away your sadness. All I can say is how very sorry I am. I can only imagine the pain you feel today. Holding you close to my heart as always. Xoxo
I am so, so sorry to read this. I was really hoping this was it for you. I will be thinking of you and praying that you will have success in June.
I'm sorry. I got a negative test this morning so I'm feeling your disappointment today. Hoping the next transfer works for you.
I'm so sorry, Krista. My heart cries out for you... this seriously brought tears to my eyes. I hope the next few days and weeks bring a time of peace, rest, and renewal for you as you look toward your next steps. Thinking of you very much today...
I am so sorry your FET didn't work this time around. I wish I could have changed the outcome, but I hope you are able to take some time out for yourself and hubby, and then look to June with positivity. ((HUGS))
I'm so so sorry. I'm not going to try and convince you to hold out hope, but I am going to tell you my first cycle was a BFN. Then, my FET a few months later was a BFP. Sometimes there is no reason why some cycles work and some don't, but don't believe for a second that because this one didn't work that they all won't. I'm living proof that sometimes it just takes more than one shot. Allow yourself to mourn and grieve this cycle, though. I know that feeling all too well. It took me quite awhile to get over it not working, and it still stings a lot when I think about it. Prayers and hugs! xoxo
I understand...I won't tell you to keep hope for this cycle. But I will say that you can have a truckload of hope for those other 5 embies!!!
This was just the first one. Now your body has had a training round and the transfer in June WILL work!
I just realized that I sounded mean in my last post I forgot to say I'm so sorry this one didn't work Krista. But I really do have so much hope for your next transfer.
So very sorry. I believe one or more of those five will bring you a BFP and I hope it's soon. I can't help it...I'm still holding on to hope that the hpt is wrong. Thinking of you!
Oh dear Krista, I'm so so sorry for you. I definitely understand your grief and pain and it truly is the worst pain I know. I know there is still hope for you, my friend was in a very similar situation. No fresh transfer due to OHSS and then first frozen was a fail, but her second frozen she got twins.... Right now though, take all the time you need to grieve and be sad. This process is grueling and no one should have to go through it. We're here for you. And yes, your golden egg is still there. (Tippy)
Oh Krista, I hope that there is some mistake.
But I am thinking of you.
((((HUGS)))))
Krista, I am so sorry. I know how heartbreaking a bfn is. But I do have very high hopes for those babies-in-waiting. Take extra good care of yourself. ((hugs))
Aww honey. That sucks! Theres nothing else that can be said because I know nothing else will help. Not that it sucks helps but it's the truth. I'm really sorry!
Big hugs out to you today! Hang in there sweetie!
I am so sorry to hear this. I am feeling very sad and wish I could give you a hug. YOU will have you child one day..and you will be able to hold your baby in your arms. Never give up. Take time to mourn. So sorry:(
hugs
I am so sorry Krista. My heart breaks for you and your husband. I will lift you up in prayer, especially for your next transfer in June.
Oh Krista, Im sorry you are feeling so much pain. take care.
So sorry Krista. You are such an inspiration to all of us - you're always one of the first to comment when I have a bad day, I was so hoping this was it for you.
Just wait for that beta. Frozen embies can be a little slower to get going, on the hcg train. I am battling the same thing right now though too. Its really hard to stay optimistic. Sorry that test didn't have a better answer for you :(
I dont even know what to say. the obvious is that i am sorry, and i am shocked, and am praying for you...but want to say something more...something bigger or deeper or more meaningful. still i ony have...i am so very sorry.
I'm so sorry hun.... I've been thinking of you all w/end. IVF/FET negatives are so hard b/c of all the expectation and hormones mixed together... I wish I could give you a big hug and somehow help that pain to go away. My heart goes out to you and want you to know that you're a very special blogging friend and an beautifully compassionate person... love to you always xoxo
(((HUGS)))
I'm so sorry it didn't work. I will be praying for you as you grieve this loss and move forward.
I am so sorry for your disappointment, Krista. We all know how painful seeing the one lonely line is. I wish you had a different result to share. I have yet to meet someone who didn't eventually succeed at CRA. I just wish you didn't have to wait anymore. Take care of yourself and know that we're all here for you in whatever way we can be!
Honey I'm so so sorry-just sending biggest hugs your way, I know there's nothing I can say to make it better but just know you're in my thoughts today. And you will have your baby/babies amongst your 5 embies,I just know it.I'm just so sorry and devastated for you that it didn't happen this time xoxo
I am so sorry. I know those words don't help much, but I truly am. You're exactly right--you can not prepare yourself for the pain. I'm glad you have a plan and are able to look forward. I'll be thinking about you and praying that your pain is lessened. ((hugs))
I am so sorry.
Take time to grieve, it can be a very hard time after a failed transfer
Sending you lots of pixie dust your golden egg is waiting for you!!
Lots of Cyber hugs
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how sad you are. Seems completely unfair. I hope an upcoming cycle brings you as many BFP's as you want.
Joey
http://thechildlessmom.blogspot.com
Krista I am so sorry that you are going through this. Sending you positive thoughts.
If I lived in Denver..
a) we'd go take a walk like good friends do.
b) we'd cry
c) we'd shake our fists
d) we'd somehow-someway find something to laugh about
e) we'd cry again
f) we'd scold our husbands right back
g) we'd find a way to point our faces towards the sun.
I have a quote on my empty nursery wall that reads..."No Rain. No Rainbow."
Just remember that. (but let's still go for that walk, okay?!)
So Sorry. {{HUGS}}
My heart is breaking for you. Nothing can ease the pain of a failed FET...it is simply heartbreaking.
I will be praying for renewed strength and hope. And I will also pray for the month of May to pass quickly so that you can once again jump back on the bandwagon...but with a MUCH different outcome!!! God likes us to be specific so specific I will be when I am praying for you and your hubby and your sweet lil babe(s) yet to be born!
(HUGS) There's nothing I can say to ease your pain honey. I will pray though that at least one of the 5 embys is going to take and be your child.
So sorry Krista! Grieve this loss and take the time you need to do so. I was so hopeful our first transfer, after all you put live thriving embryos in my ute and they it should work, right?!?! This whole journey is such a roller coaster and you never know which side of the statistics you will be on. Praying for you! Hugs and love!
This is devastating! I'm so sorry to read this - really thought it would be your time. I know it's hard even to hold out hope for the future when everything looked so perfect this time and it still didn't work. There's just no telling why some perfect cycles fail and long-shot ones succeed, but with such good embryos waiting for you there really is still a lot of hope!
I am so sorry Krista. I know how disappointed you are. I am praying for you guys and your next cycle.
So Sorry hun...I wish I could offer more than electronic *HUGS*, but alas it is all I have. To wait so long, and have so much hope...it is truly cruel that you have to go through this. I just know your Golden Egg is in there, and I will keep sending those positive thoughts your way.
I'm so sorry Krista.
I'm so sorry. :( It's so hard. Take all the time you need to mourn and grieve. You're in my thoughts...
mate that sucks. I am so sorry and pissed off for you.
I am so deeply sorry that this cycle has not worked. Feeling very angry on your behalf.
Please know I am thinking of you both and sending lots of hugs. Take the time to grieve in whatever way feels right. Look after yourself and surround yourself with people who love and care for you.
I hope that at least one of the 5 little ones you have on ice is your miracle babe. xx
Krista, I am very sorry to read this. I prayed for you just last night. Im so sorry. Your pain has caused me to think really hard about my own journey. Self preservation is kicking in. Just know that we send love and hugs from Australia...xo
I am so sorry Krista. :( News like this always hurts to the core. Hang in there...
Damn it, Krista! I'm so very sorry...
My heart hurts for you.
Krista, I am SO SO sorry! I hate that it took me so long to comment because I'm sure you could use a lot of encouragement right now. Based on the comments so far, it looks like you have a lot of people that truly care about you, myself included. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers! I'm so glad you will be doing a June FET. I know you and your hubby will have that baby in your arms soon. It's easier to say than do, but hang in there!!
Krista, I am so very, very sorry to hear this news. Give yourself time to mourn this very real loss and I am so glad you have plans for another FET in June. A million hugs to you today, my friend...
xoxo
Krista- so sorry to hear that. I am glad to hear that you are already planning on your get! I have so much faith this will work for you!!!
My heart aches for you. I am sending you love...
Krista, I am so, so sorry! I have been there too many times to count. My heart breaks...
thinking of you. xo
So sorry about this news. Hugs to you. Please take it easy and know that we are all praying for you and that take home baby. xoxoxo
This just sucks! I of course want to say all of the positve things and I am already sending positive vibes to those "golden eggs" awaiting you. But this still just sucks. I am so sorry. XOXOXO
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