Well, AF came today just as I said she would. It wasn't a surprise, after finding out about the 2 cysts, on top of the thin lining, on top of not doing the IUI this month, I knew our chances were about 1 in 10 billion. I started spotting yesterday, so I knew today she would arrive. I was disappointed, just as I am every month. But, surprisingly not as disappointed as I usually am. I had prepared myself for this since....oh about CD 1. I just had a bad feeling about the cycle from the get-go.
I had my phone consultation with the RE this morning, we are officially "benched" this month, which also did not surprise me. I will go in for another u/s in about 4 weeks, right before my next AF visit to check on the cysts. If they are gone, then we can start treatment up again in December.
So, all around, it is pretty bad news. Had some good talks with the hubs this weekend. I realized that I am focusing on all this infertility stuff way too much, that I've been very negative, not taking care of myself as I should be, and because of all that...not feeling very good about myself. So, this brings me to the title of my post....I have decided that I am going to turn over a new leaf.
Since we cannot do any treatment this month, and have to take the month off completely....I am going to try my dardest to focus on other things...including the most important thing....taking care of myself! I even started exercising again this weekend. It was kinda fun....hubs and I did it together and it felt good...like we were bonding over the exercise. He is starting a new workout program, and even though I can't do the intensity of the workouts, I am going to do my best to keep up.
At this point, it doesn't look like I will be getting pregnant anytime soon, so I might as well take this time to concentrate on myself. Exercise, eating even better, maybe getting some new clothes, perhaps a new hair do? Luckily, my favorite time of the year is upon us, so that will help me focus on other things for the next couple of months. Also, it looks like we'll be adopting a dog here in the next few weeks, so that will definitely help keep my mind off things!!
So, even though the past 4 days have been pretty darn shitty....I am trying to find something positive in all the shit. I am young, healthy, have a great husband, a decent job, nice home, financially stable, good friends.....these are the things I am going to try and focus on.
Next plans....lay low for all of November....perhaps this is just what we need. Then start Letrozole in December. Continue moving forward......
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