9 Week Ultrasound

I would like to thank many of you for the emails over the past week....I really appreciate that so many of you care enough about me to send me an email to check and see how I am doing...it means a lot to me! I'm sure many of you thought that I had abandoned my blog...but I assure you...I have not! I figured out pretty quickly that there wasn't much to blog about when you finally get pregnant and you are in-between ultrasounds. Unless you all want to hear about nausea, vomiting and anxiety! But, I am 100% sure that those things do not make a very good blog post! So, I chose to keep quiet until I actually had something to blog about! I'll try to get more regular with my posts as we go along with the pregnancy and I'm not vomiting as much! In the meantime, I promise to post if anything significant happens.

Well, we had our 9 week ultrasound this morning. What a mixed bag of emotions that ended up being! I was sooooo nervous! Matt couldn't go to the appointment with me because he had meetings, so I had to go alone! When the tech first started the ultrasound she checked cervix and ovaries...then started on the babies. Baby A was first....she told me after a few minutes that baby A had no heart beat and had stopped growing at 7 weeks 3 days. I was instantly worried that this would be the case with all 3 babies. But, she then measured Baby B and said "it was beautiful." Measuring at 9 weeks 1 day and heart beat in the 180's. Thank God! She then measured Baby C...he/she measured exactly 9 weeks and heart beat in the high 160's (sorry, I can't remember exactly.) I was SO relieved!!! But, definitely having a lot of mixed emotions....I can't pinpoint exactly how I was feeling because there was just so much to process all at once. I got dressed and went into the next room to meet with the nurse.

The nurse and I talked for awhile and it was really good...I swear, these nurses are like counselors. She assured me that I didn't do anything to cause Baby A to stop growing...she just said that in the first trimester it is caused from genetic or chromosomal abnormalities. She said my twins looked really good and just because I lost one does not mean that there is a higher chance I will lose more. She really eased my mind.  But it's really hard to lose a baby and not know the cause...did I do something wrong? Of course, I know logically that I didn't...but that doesn't mean that I don't wonder. I know this is for the best because carrying 3 was just not going to be feasible for me....and I did NOT want to have to make the decision, so I am glad it was made for me, but it still sucks! I am trying to rest in the fact that the other 2 are beautiful and perfect and measuring right where they should be. I am thankful that I can start telling people (the few people we've told that we are pregnant,) that I have TWINS...and not "well we have triplets, but I don't know what is going to happen." Perhaps, I can start bonding with my twins now, and not wondering if/when I'll have to make the decision to reduce one of my babies. It's a lot to take in right now and I'm trying not to process too much at once right now...but as I need to and feel like I can.

I don't know what will happen with Baby A. I did have a little bit of bleeding last Friday which the nurse told me could have been the loss of the baby, but she did tell me that I could have more bleeding, or maybe I won't and my body will just absorb what is left. I'm nervous to see what will happen, but will do my very best to just roll with the punches. Right now, my main concern is keeping the 2 babies healthy and growing strong....which means getting as many calories in me as possible. I have not lost any weight, but I also haven't put any on since my last appointment, so I know I need to work on putting weight on. I am already sporting a little belly....which is fun but weird at the same time! Most of the time...I feel like there are aliens trying to break out of my abdomen...things are just growing, moving and stretching in there so quickly! It is already getting difficult to get comfortable at night. I am a belly sleeper and that is getting hard to do (not to mention I worry about squishing them!) I am trying to sleep on my side...but that is so freaking uncomfortable! I am still having a hard time falling asleep....but once I do....I am sleeping until about 4am when I have to get up and eat something.

I am still not taking the zofran....I just couldn't handle the constipation that came with that. My RE suggested I try doxylamine (unisom,) which has definitely been helping. I take half a dosage before I go to bed and it definitely helps with the nausea and vomiting through the night and into the next day....which enables me to get some calories in which also helps keep the nausea down...so it's a win win. Unfortunately, the nausea comes back in the late afternoon and then I usually vomit a few times in the evenings. I guess this plan isn't perfect, and still needs to be ironed out.....but it's better than before!

Well, I guess that is all I have to report on for now.  I have been released from the fertility clinic (weird!) except one more blood test next week. I am supposed to keep my appointment with the perinatologist on the 16th...since this is still considered "high risk" even though we won't need to reduce. But, I am also going to start the hunt for an OB.....I was told today that I need to start seeing a regular OB within the next 2-3 weeks. Not sure why I haven't looked into this yet....denial that this is really happening? More than likely.....

Oh, I do have a few pics of the twins...which I will scan in and post soon! You can see Baby B really well, but Baby C had his/her back to us, so it's not so good! But, still fun to see them!