Nothing about carrying 3 babies in my uterus is easy. When we were originally talking about transferring 3 embryos I kept thinking "there is no way all 3 will implant if NEITHER implanted on our first transfer." Going into it....we had decided that if all 3 implant (which in my mind the odds were like zero,) and all 3 continue developing we would reduce to twins. This was the decision we made going into this cycle....I knew it, I accepted it, I can be okay with it.
However, what I didn't take into consideration was the first trimester of being pregnant with 3 would feel like. What does this mean? How will I feel? Differently than if I was just carrying one or just carrying two? Would the symptoms be worse? I guess I didn't think that far into it because I assumed that not all 3 would implant.
Well, here I am.....pregnant with 3. Week 5 was really hard because I was really really nauseous, couldn't eat, and just plain SCARED! Everything was new...I didn't know what to expect. I was convinced that all 3 would be blighted ovums. It was a hard week. Week 6 was a bit better because I was given the Zofran to take for the nausea. I was eating and actually able to function and do a a little around the house. By the end of the 6th week....though I was feeling mentally better...knowing that we had 3 heart beats.....I was pretty miserable. HORRIBLE constipation and stomach aches. The enema helped, but I could not get rid of the stomach aches. It's like my digestive system wouldn't stabilize itself. I still wasn't "going" regularly, my stomach was always hurting and I was starting to feel very anxious about my digestive system.
Here we are now.....I decided to discontinue the Zofran. I don't know if this was the right decision, but I had to pick my poison. I decided to pick the nausea over the constipation and stomach aches. Since discontinuing it on Sunday....I am already feeling much better. I am "going" regularly and my stomach feels so much better! Yes, the nausea is back...but really.....I guess it isn't that bad. Yes, it's hard to get through the nights....but if I get up and eat something every few hours...I am okay. During the day....I stay on top of it by eating every 2 hours. I feel blessed because I am not vomiting. Yes, I have nausea and the dry heaves....but no vomiting. My decision right now is to try and ride out the "morning sickness" through the first trimester. If it doesn't get worse than this....I think I can do it. I can't work, and that is hard because I am getting cabin fever pretty bad, but I keep telling myself that it is only temporary.
Matt had to go out of town for work this week. He usually travels quite a bit, but he made a point to stay in town over the past 2 months, so it was definitely time for him to travel again. So, I stopped the PIO shots and am now on the endometrin. That is weird....could this mean no shots for me EVER again?! Wow...weird feeling! I am a bit nervous about discontinuing the PIO shots for the endometrin because I was warned that I could have a little bit of spotting...which would definitely make me nervous, so I am hoping that doesn't happen...but if it does, I'll try to stay calm!
I haven't been sleeping well. I am SO tired and have very little energy, but I am having a hard time falling asleep, and when I do fall asleep....I don't stay asleep. I don't know if this is from the heat....it's been nearly 100 degrees here in Denver for awhile now and not really cooling down at night. Usually, we shut the A/C off at night and just open windows and turn on fans. But, I am starting to think I may need to leave the A/C on at night. For some reason, I am sleeping better on the couch, so I go from sleeping in bed to the couch all night long. I think this is because it is cooler downstairs on the couch, but then I wake up stiff and sore!
I am also having a bit of anxiety here and there. The waiting between the ultrasounds is REALLY tough! Worse than the 2WW!! The only thing you have is that the last ultrasound showed that everything was okay....but you have no idea if everything is STILL okay. It's scary...I worry that I am doing something that would cause their hearts to stop beating, I worry that I am not eating enough to keep 3 babies growing strong, that I am breathing wrong, or sleeping/laying in the wrong position, etc etc etc. I keep telling myself that nothing I am doing would cause the heartbeats to stop, but it's still really hard not to worry. I just can't imagine losing these littles and having to start over....I couldn't do it.
So, that's the latest with me! I hope this post isn't too much of a downer! I really am trying to stay positive, but worrying is impossible for me! I feel like infertility takes so much of the joy out of pregnancy....especially in the beginning. I am hoping as the pregnancy progresses I will be able to relax a bit more and enjoy the pregnancy more.
If anyone else special nausea remedies....please don't hesitate to let me know! I am trying the b-natal pops and ginger tablets right now.
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22 comments:
I know its hard to do but you really have to trust that what's supposed to happen will happen so there's no sense in stressing yourself out about every move you make. Again, I know its easier said than done but no good is going to come from worrying yourself sick. Eat when you need to eat, sleep how you need to sleep. You are an incredibly strong woman and you can make it through the first trimester!! When's your next ultrasound again?
Ack those side effects sound horrible. There are plenty of good lollipops etc to help with the nausea. Hang in there just a few more weeks till your back to normal. Hang in there! Glad to hear your feeling better after stopping Zofran.
I know its really hard to not worry about M/C during the first trimester, with numbers like yours and seeing the heartbeats strong and early, your moving along swimingly and your chances are very low. Seriously. You have the perfect cocktail for a healthy pregnancy.
About eating enough, eat when your hungry and you should be fine. Hell women like me are on diabetic diets which to me is like a real diet! Baby is just fine and I eat little amounts. Also remember that at this point the nutritional needs of baby is very low, and with your prenatal bases are covered. Maybe try a protein shake made with milk if your feeling like your not getting enough.
Relax my dear, everything is going to work out just fine, and you will be a mommy early next year. =) I am still so happy for you! Truly blessed!
PS. Hope the weather is starting to cool down, that heatwave was horrible!
Yikes, it doesn't sound like you are having much fun..3 babies!! that is pretty unbelievable! I imagine the anxiety will be hanging around until you have those 3 babies in your arms! Sorry you feel so lousy, but I am so happy for you and Matt!
You can do it! First trimester was awful but then it is like a veil is lifted. Just listen to your body and do what it tells you! Rooting for you and your littles!
Sorry if you've already addressed this and I've forgotten, but are you still going to reduce to two? I remember going through the counseling session at our RE's office in Denver before the IUI and thinking something along the lines of "ya right, like we could end up with 3!" Then after the IUI, I came home and read a blog post from a fellow first time IUIer who had just found out she was pregnant with 3. What a hard choice, either way.
I'm glad you're still not puking at least!!
Infertility and pregnancy loss definitely take the joy out of pregnancy, especially early on. Hopefully as time goes on it will bring some of the joy back.
Nothing you will do will harm your bubs, unless you have taken up chain smoking ice and shotting tequila every 2hrs, and go on a diet of old deli ham, oysters and Brie cheese... Even then I have my doubts, junkies seem to have bouning babies..
Anyway, just wanted to send my support on whatever you decide. I know what nausea is like with 1 bub in there, but 3!! I wasn't much of a vomiter, just alot of hanging over the loo, breaking ribs dry heaving. It does mean it's healthy though. I never got sick with my two mc's, but with my son I was paralysed horizontally from 5pm till midnight. Who the hell named it morning sickness??!!
Best wishes and big fat raspberries on your belly xx
Isn't it so totally weird to have insomnia *and* constant exhaustion? I don't get how our bodies can be so weird--if we're tired, why can't we *sleep*??
Anyway, I agree about IF making pregnancy a nerve-wracking time. I've decided to get a doppler. I mean, I pretty much assume their hearts have stopped anyway, may as well get some reassurance...
Sorry to read you are having such a hard time with your PG. I can't imagine what's it's like with 3 of them! IF does ruin it though.
sending you a hug!! Hope the change in med helps you out.
hey sweetie sorry I've been pretty MIA lately (vacay and then geting back into the swing of things)
I am so glad the check ups are still going great. I'm sorry you feel crappy but I think it's great that you have this venue to tell us all about it. Sure hope it gets better! (I'd probably take the nausea over the stomach problems too!)
I hope you feel better soon!!!! Starting at 10 weeks every week got a little less intense...with 14 weeks being the magic week. I hope yours abates even more quickly!
i'm curious about why you can't work? what do you do? maybe i missed that in an earlier post
i'm sorry that you are having some anxiety. you are doing just fine! i'm sure of it. just keep eating as best you can and taking time for yourself to relax. nothing you are doing will cause your baby's heartbeat's to stop. i promise :-) (even though i know how very hard it is to believe that)... and yes, infertility does take SOOO much joy out of pregnancy. it's so unfair.
I liked the Phinagrin for nausea. I also thought that popsicles helped.
I hope you get to feeling better soon!! The first trimester is sooo hard, especially if you are sick.
Aww honey - I'm so sorry you are so sick. I've been thinking of you & your journey. You provide me with hope and I'm grateful. Thank you!
Hi Krista, I am 10 and a half weeks now and hanging out till my 12 week scan. IO am starting to worry, is my baby still alive? I know this is silly as I have nothing indicating that it isnt but the last time I saw it was at 8 weeks. Its just hard and I want to see it so bad. So your not alone. It must be so hard with 3!
Thinking of you. Hang in there! These are such little blessings and though it's hard and nerve wracking work to keep them all safe and well, I know you're perfectly cut out for it. It takes a strong woman, are you certainly are!
Sorry to hear you are having a tough time, so here's to wishing you a quick first trimester and a very zen second trimester!
Hey there sweetie, just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you. I hope today has been a little bit easier and if not that you have been able to rest and take care of yourself and your three little ones. Keeping your close to my heart. Jen
I've had a lot of the same thoughts about possible miscarriage in between appointments. (I'll be 10 weeks tomorrow.) As much as I hate being nauseated and exhausted, at least that is some reassurance that our twins are still growing in there.
Oh, and I think I'm coming to the same conclusion you did about the Zofran. Today is my first day without it, and while I don't feel great, it's tolerable.
Perversely, I find working helps me. I seem to feel worse on the weekends when I'm just resting and have no mental distractions.
The exhaustion and nausea are really tough, and I hope for your sake that they end with the first trimester.
I move to the couch too and take the stiffness over less sleep. I think you are doing the best you can at keeping the nausea under control with frequent meals and anything like ginger tablets that helps take your mind off of it. Gum helped me too. I have no advice about the worries because I can't kick them either, but I imagine you have three times as much worry... hang in there until the next ultrasound where I'm sure you'll get a good report on these little miracles!
I m sooo happy for you. my sister just had a healthy baby and she had stomach pain n constipation thru out. but i m sure urs is nothing to worry about. Anyway i had returned from home and decided that maybe this wasnt a dream meant for me but as i read ur blog, i m tempted once again. i just wish i knew what is wrong with us. unexplained fertility- sigh. but here i m ranting when we shud b celebrating ur great news. stay safe love. the best cures i know for nausea are mint and fresh ginger
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