6 Weeks 3 Days

Thank you all so much for the awesome outpouring of love, support encouragement, and advice on my last post. I hate being a complainer, so putting up that post was difficult. But, I realize now that it really did help just to "get out" my frustrations, it also really helped more to receive your guys' support, and especially hearing your own personal  experiences...so thank you! Please keep em coming!

I went to see Dr. S on Friday morning. I was super paranoid after hearing I might have some type of infection. I woke up Friday morning in a full on anxiety attack! But, I managed to make it down to the far away south clinic to meet with Dr. S.....the first thing he told me was that I might not have an infection at all....that my high WBC count might be being caused by taking the prednisone and also just the pregnancy itself. But, he wanted to do a speculum exam. He checked everything out "downstairs" and didn't see anything out of the ordinary. He also looked at some secretions under the microscope checking for a variety of things....he said everything looked good! They are sending the secretions off to the lab just to double check everything though. He did not see a reason to put me on antibiotics since he could not confirm that I had an infection and didn't know what we'd be treating...which I completely understood. He explained to me that the reason I probably feel so bad is the fact that I am pregnant with three. Okay...that makes sense. He too (just like the other doctor I met with on Monday and the nurses,) blew off the brown discharge. Said it is nothing to worry about. I still have it even today....it isn't heavy, and I'd definitely call it "discharge" rather than "spotting" because it's basically light brown mucous.

I finally gave in and went and picked up the Zofran prescription. Dr. S told me I could take one pill every 8 hours. I decided to start off with half a pill...what a difference it has made! I've been taking a half a pill every 8 hours since Friday and I am actually keeping food down and sleeping through the night! What a miracle! The down side to taking Zofran....I haven't gone #2 since Friday! Yep....went from going at least 3 times a day to now not going at all...super fun times. So, I am now counting on colace and cranberry juice to help me out here. I woke up in the middle of the night last night with cramping, but I couldn't figure out if it was uterine cramping or cramping because I haven't poo'd! What fun this all is, huh girls?

I am just hoping and praying that all this misery will be worth it...I keep saying "there better be a LIVE baby in my uterus this week, because I can't imagine going through all this and the babies being dead!" What horrible thoughts...I just can't help it. I guess I know too much from reading blogs and going through so much with all of you over the past few years.

The only thing that gives me comfort is that I feel a weird sensation in my uterus when I pay attention. I can't even explain it...it almost feels like my uterus is stretching, but it might be too early for that. Though, the doctor on Monday did tell me my uterus will start stretching early to accommodate 3. Sometimes it just feels like there is a lot of blood being pumped into that area. Like when you cut yourself and it feels like there is a pulse where you cut yourself.

Most of all....I just feel like a crazy lady! I feel a bit helpless......being bed ridden is really hard for me. Matt is not one to be able to sit around....so he's been still doing his normal stuff, which makes me feel a bit lonely, but I guess both of shouldn't be bed ridden and miserable. His birthday is tomorrow, I keep forgetting....I haven't planned a damn thing! I keep telling him that we'll just have to celebrate it later. He says he doesn't care...but I feel miserable and guilty.

Hanging in there! Still praying and hoping that we'll actually see a miracle heart beat or two on Thursday!