Sorry that I am so late on putting on my weekly post....I actually had my second OB appointment yesterday and I wanted to wait to put up a post until after my appointment. Matt and I got to meet our OB yesterday....my first OB appointment was just with the NP and then my NT scan was with my perinatololgist. We both really liked the OB...she is a younger gal (as is my perinatologist) so I felt like I could relate to her. The appointment was very easy, fast and reassuring. Since we have two babies in there just doing a fetal doppler isn't helpful since you can't distinguish heartbeats, so we got a quick ultrasound to see how they are doing. They still continue to amaze me....they are both huge, and one moves so much!!! One is very laid back and the other one was kicking up a storm...it looked like it was running!! We were laughing pretty hard because it looked like he/she was kicking it's sibling like "get out of my way!" Oy vey.......they are only going to get bigger and there's only so much room in there...share the space guys!! They both had beautiful heartbeats and gorgeous long fingers....that didn't surprise me....mommy has long fingers!
Unfortunately, I've been having some anxiety between appointments....I woke up Thursday morning with a lot of anxiety. Not sure why...I think I just want everything to run so smoothly and having little control over how everything goes is tough for me. So, I am actually going to attend a 4-week long class once a week regarding coping with anxiety. I'm also seeing a counselor at the end of the month which I think will be good for me. I don't think I've realized just how this long 3+ year journey has really affected me. And, I don't think I've really dealt with just how difficult the journey was and how I'm not sure really how to deal with the fact that the infertility journey is over.....after fighting so hard for 3 years, I'm having trouble accepting that I don't have to fight anymore. I just need to enjoy that these beautiful blessings are growing inside of me and how blessed I am to have that. So, I think counseling will be good for me and I am not ashamed to say that I need it.
How Far Along: 14 Weeks 5 Days!
Size of Baby: Each are the size of a lemon (isn't that smaller than a peach? Hmmmmm?)
Picture of Baby: Didn't get any pics this time....but I'll say they look great!
Maternity Clothes: Still haven't bought any. I'm still in the gauchos and stretchy pants. I think I'll purchase some in October....at least some jeans and leggings.
Weight Gain: Total of 10 pounds...at night it's closer to 12 pounds.
Belly: I still don't feel like I am that big, but my OB took one look at me and said I looked about 20 weeks....not 14. When she felt my uterus she said is already up by my belly button...where it is at 20 weeks with a singleton, so I guess I am okay there...just thought I'd be bigger by now. I am patiently awaiting the big round noticeable bump! Though...I think the neighbors are starting to catch on...they are giving me funny looks!
Stretch Marks: Not yet! Love my cocoa butter!
Sleep: Seems to be a bit better.....I am finally getting used to sleeping on my sides so it's not as uncomfortable. I am sooo sleepy by about 8pm, then wake up quite a bit to use the bathroom, eat a snack, then usually wake up around 6am and can't fall back asleep. I'm looking forward to cooler weather so that I can nap during the day.....I can't sleep when it is hot so this summer has been tough!
Best Moment of the Week: Seeing the babies of course!
Movement: They are movers but I can't feel them yet.
Symptoms: The nausea is still there, unfortunately. My OB seems to think it'll taper off any day now....I can't wait! If I constantly eat...I'm usually okay. But, sometimes something I eat will make me gag, and once I gag...it's all over! I even had to barf in the backyard last week because my lunch made me gag, and I didn't have time to run back in the house...fun stuff guys! Besides the nausea, still having a bit of heartburn here and there. I'm still getting slight headaches here and there...but nothing real bad. Stomach aches are getting better....yay!!! Fatigue of course....growing two babies is tough! Then, the lovely bloody boogers and stuffed up nose.
Food Cravings: Still constantly hungry but nothing sounds all that great...lots of food aversions still. Things that I loved before pregnancy I can't even think about eating now...which is tough. I am definitely a lover of food when I am not pregnant and to only be eating now to keep me and the babies going is tough...I'm just not enjoying food like I used to.
Gender: Anatomy scan is scheduled for October 10th!! Once we find out I'd like to start purchasing some baby items....bedding, clothes, etc. Then, we decided around Halloween we will start purchasing furniture and larger items. We are hoping to have the nursery done by Thanksgiving. This is because I could go on bed rest around 28 weeks which is mid-December...we want everything done before then so no one is stressed out.
What I Miss: Enjoying food, being able to get out and about (independence.) I don't leave the house much because I'm always afraid I'll get sick!
What I'm Looking Forward to: Getting rid of the nausea for good! Enjoying food again! Finding out the sexes of the babies and starting to order baby stuff!
Weekly Wisdom: Don't worry if there is nothing to worry about! (that's also very good advice for myself!)
Milestones: We're well into the second trimester now and the babies look great!
Emotions: Back and forth between excited an anxious....always grateful for these amazing blessings.
13 comments:
I totally get that "not having to fight" thing anymore, even though I'm not in your position and I'm STILL HAVING to fight. I can relate because I feel like I will be the same way. We are approaching the 3 year point, with no real end in sight. Ugh :(
Glad everyone is well. I get the anxiety totally. When you throw yourself into this battle for the years you do its vary hard to be finished with it, and learn to be pregnant and just enjoy. I don't think I really did until after L was born.
Having to be in the midst of the fight again though is an even stranger feeling. The emotions are even more of a rollercoaster than the first time. I thankful and thrilled to have my miracle but upset and devastated over failed FET and IVF. Very strange world we face as infertiles. I hope the counseling sessions are immensely helpful to you.
I had a ton of anxiety before each appoimtment until week 24 and then I finally let go and it has been much better. I hope its the same for you!
Glad to hear they are growing so well!!!!
What a great report!! Glad your big babies are doing well and that some of your stomach issues have subsided. I know you are tired of being confined to the house..but n the other hand i do consider you lucky to be able to sit out from work and still be well taken care of. That is a beautiful thing Krista! Enjoy!
So glad that the babies are doing well! It must be hard to let go of anxiety, if you get to that place please be sure to share your secret!!
I hope the nausea goes away for good.
SO glad the babies and you are doing well! Sucks that you are still having sickness and anxiety...I hope you get a break soon!
Boy do I know what you mean about the relief of not fighting IF anymore. It's like I suddenly got my life back. Pretty great, but also strange. Not having to deal with IF frees up a lot of time and $.
Glad those babies are looking great!
This post made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I'm soooooo happy for you Krista - mean that from the bottom of my heart my friend and these two kiddos are really blessed.
You're spot on about the fact that you don't have to fight anymore. It's amazing what this journey conditions us to and I'm absolutely with you that I don't think we know the impacts. I think I should find a counselor too.
Healthy and happy. That is where we want to be! :)
Great that your bubs are doing so well and that you got to see them happily moving around. Anxiety is so much a part of this journey... and I've found talking with someone really helpful. Be gentle on yourself... you're doing everything that you possible can and have so much love for them already... that will help see you through the anxious times. Love to you all xoxo
Thx for the detailed update and so glad to know that your babies are doing so well. Rooting for you all the way!
Krista,
I'm glad you're seeing a counselor, I was the same way. The fight takes over your life and once it's over you just don't know how to act. Your anxiety is normal. I'm glad the babies are doing well. Take care and just try to live in every moment! Those babies are such a blessing!!!
Cindi
The anxiety is the worst part of infertility and pregnancy after infertility.
I am glad you are feeling a little better. I can't believe you are 14 weeks already!!!
Sounds like things keep getting better and there is much more to look forward to. I don't think I can truly let go of the IF created anxiety until I'm holding this baby, so close and yet still so guarded. I wish you all the best in the coming weeks!!!
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